Paradigm Shift...Oh that hurts!!

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God". Romans 12:2


If you would have asked me about 4 months ago what my near future would look like, I could have answered you fairly easily...I'm getting married in Feb, then stepping into more full-time overseas missions, then having kids. Ever since I've had a passion for overseas missions, I always knew I wasn't going to step into "full-time" missions until I was with my husband. Well, not only am I not getting married in Feb, I've also been called to my first "longer" term overseas mission trip withOUT a husband. Wait a minute....I think you made a mistake, God...this isn't the way it's supposed to happen...don't you know the "right" order?? haha. So here starts the paradigm shift. About 3 weeks ago the Lord told me this was the first of many paradigm shifts that were going to happen in my mind. Why did I always think I would need a husband before I could do full-time overseas missions?? Why do I limit what the Lord can do through me?? What is it that you have always thought in your head....that needs to be transformed to His ways?? This is NOT easy!! In fact, it hurts, it's uncomfortable, it's frustrating, it's scary, and the word fun should not be associated with this process :) So why do it?? Why am I sitting in an airport in Amsterdam all by myself, ready to spend 5 months in Uganda alone??? Why am I not sitting in my wonderful apartment, getting ready to head to Starbucks with my wonderful friends, after working at the hospital, which I loved?? WHY?

There's a song that I've been quite addicted to the past couple days (thanks a lot Joey and Amanda, hehe) but it's called Paradigm by All Together Seperate. Powerful song and great lyrics!! Part of the chorus says, "I give my life to You, so I can gain it back again...I stand solid while the paradigm is shifting". So is that it? Is that why I'm going halfway around the world for 5 months alone...giving my life just to gain it back again? Not exactly!! The motivation for this trip is pure love and obedience. I love the Lord with everything that I've got and desire nothing more than to serve and be obedient to Him. Everything else is just icing on the cake! These 5 months I'm dedicating to Him, "I'm giving my life to Him, and I know I will gain back again"-completely believe the lyrics to the song...but it's not the motivation to this trip :) My sincere motivation is love and obedience!! If you think it's easy for paradigm's to be shifted-you are quite mistaken....it's hardly easy...the first paradigm I had shifted...I end up leaving EVERYTHING in my life and am traveling by myself to Africa for 5 months....wow, not easy but will be completely worth it!!! He's so worth it!!

On this trip, the Lord has ALREADY proved that He is more than enough and He "has my back on this trip", even though I'm terrified of traveling internationally by myself and doing this alone. I was at the ticket counter in Tampa and apparently left my little passport holder at the counter. I had my passport with me, BUT the passport holder had ALL of my money and my license in it. I didn't have a clue I had left it. The doors were closed on the plane, we were literally about to move down the runway...I'm trying to compose myself after having read an extremely sweet letter from a close friend of mine...and a lady comes speed-walking down the aisle and asked if I was Michelle. Alright, I thought....I'm not actually going to Africa for 5 months (obvioulsy I'm still nervous to go, hehe)!! She asked if I was missing a package and after a quick conversation and check, I realized it was in fact mine! She said they were racing here trying to get it to me....then another flight attendant said that lady had 1 minute to get off the plane or she was gonna be going on the flight to Atlanta too! Boy did God do some talking to me after that and it was NOT reprimanding!! I felt so stupid for losing ALL my money for a 5 month period before even leaving Tampa , but God had something else to say to me, "Michelle, you see, I'm going to take care of you, stop worrying about being alone....I've got you covered, I'm with you, I'm your protector now!!". Now if you don't think that whole incident was God orchestrated to prove to me that He's got me covered...

I encourage you to spend some time with the Lord and ask Him what He wants to transform in your mind...because there is something :) It's a very uncomfortable process, but you will gain freedom and step into His Will....no other place to be!!

I'm in Amsterdam and about to get some sleep in the best airport hotel ever!!! What a blessing and the Lord gave me the next blog topic when I stepped foot in the hotel room...how cool is that! He is soooo good and faithful!! I'm not sure when I will have internet access again after I leave Amsterdam, because then I will be in Uganda...YIKES!!!

I love you all and again thank you for the prayers, support, and encouragement!!!

In Him,
Michelle