My final blog-I'm back in the States!!!!

By the way, the picture shown above is some of the precious, precious girls at our guesthouse who are being adopted! One of them stayed at our guesthouse with her dad, while the other two stayed at a guesthouse down the road with their dad. The dad's happened to meet each other, both going thru the adoption process, both had wives back in the States, both Christians, and the little girls had fun playing together...so the dad's would get together at our guesthouse every evening for coffee and talk, while the little girls would play! Really cool! Interestingly enough, their situation is actually a part of one of my future visions with mission work :)

I'm actually writing the first half of this blog while sitting on the plane from Amsterdam to Atlanta, on my last long stretch!! I'm sitting here shivering under a sweatshirt, socks, and 2 blankets...I really haven't been exposed to air conditioning the past 5 months :) I can't explain the emotional breakdown I'm going through!! I'm so torn between two places...it's really, really tough! A part of me can't stop thinking about my classmates and the international team and people back at the guesthouse. Some classmates wrote me letters, which I was unable to read before I left, so I'm catching up now, and they are just blessing and humbling me! The people who you think you have no effect on...the most unexpected people...those are the ones who are "secretly" watching your every move and tell you what an impact you have made and what a blessing you are...so humbling and unexpected!! Then, there's another part of me that's so excited to see my small group, my friends, and my co-workers in Florida...and whatever else God has waiting for me there! I don't think He brought me back to Florida "coincidentally". I'm pumped and ready to go :) I have no idea how long I will be there, but I will faithfully and joyfully serve there until I get commissioned elsewhere :) I admit that I'm nervous about the reverse culture shock that might lie ahead?!?!

Oh yeah, so you know I didn't have an exit visa to get out of the country...the only visa I had stamped expired a month ago! So, I stood in the airport and prayed one last prayer before getting in line to clear through. There were 2 people behind the glass, sitting at the desks checking visas/passports. I stepped up and handed my passport to the man administrator and I hear the woman administrator talking to another passenger about Watoto church being her home church! Ummm yeah, that's the church I just spent the last 5 months working for!!!! Do not hesitate, do not breathe...get in on that conversation as quickly as possible!!! We are over an hour away from Watoto church...this was not by chance, this was divine intervention, favor, and grace that this woman was working tonight and was a member of Watoto church...and I was going to accept this Godly favor!!! The man administrator started to give me a hard time, but I was confident that the Lord's hand was all over this, and I ended up getting thru just fine without having to purchase another visa!!! Those who have been on mission trips know the corruption, especially towards Americans, so this was a miracle and blessing that I got through with no issues, no visa, and no payments!!! Totally God!

Ok, I've now been back in Florida for 3 days now, and I'm ready to finish writing my very last blog on "Off to discover more of Him". Boy did I do this the last 5 months!!!!!! It's been an amazing journey and although I'm back in the States, I know my journey isn't over...my life IS a journey! When you live your life for the Lord, life becomes a journey, a good and exciting journey :) I've struggled quite a bit since being back, hitting major reverse culture shock (more than I anticipated!!). Been infiltrated with the western world, yet I've continued to have an unresounding peace and calmness within myself. It's as if the people and world around me are running at a million miles an hour and I'm standing still watching them go by with a smile on my face...I don't let anyone or anything affect the joy and peace within me! It's a very different pace here and people's lifestyles, thought process, concerns, and worries are just very different here! However, I'm very excited to see people and I do like the conveniences of the western world. Before I got in the car at the airport, I already had 2 cups of frozen yogurt, one in Atlanta and one in Tampa airport :) I'm not kidding you! I can use nice bathrooms actually sitting on toilets, have air conditioning, power is always on, hot showers, eat whatever I want, drive to the store to get whatever I need!!! Although this was my 8th mission trip and I've seen not just poor lifestyles, but poverty before; I've never realized how convenient and easily accessible EVERYTHING is in the States!! I'm sorry, but it really, truly is! So now when I hear people grumble and complain about things here, I see things from a whole new perspective and no longer see things through those eyes (my old eyes). I can't make judgments like that, from that viewpoint! (I'm now held to a new standard, yikes!!) "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more". Luke 12:48. This is where I start to realize I've been changed, and I will never be the same again. Some speculate and say it's just a phase and will slowly fade away. But, I disagree entirely! I know I've been molded and changed into His likeness for good! But, it's not my words that will convince you, it's my actions and the way I continue to live my life!! One of my closest friends in Uganda would say that you may not be able to keep a bird from flying over your head, but you sure can keep it from landing on your head and making a nest!! How true is that? :) I don't have to let "junk" land and nest on my head, whereas before I didn't think I could move out of the way, but now I know I have the power and authority (in Christ) and self-control to!! I can control what I allow to come in and affect/effect me! I have been taught so much in Uganda, I have seen so much in Uganda, and I have been molded and changed so much in Uganda! If you put junk in, you are going to get junk out! Simple and easy concept. Simple things like, I'm now more aware and careful about the TV shows, movies, video games, making time to spend with the Lord, etc (there's a cool fiction book called “Blessed Child” by Bill Bright and Ted Dekker, check it out!).

I'm now working at a new normal!!! I've had more paradigm shifts happen on this trip and my mind has been transformed and conformed, than I can write in a blog!! But like I said, it's not my words or blog that matter, it's how I live my life!! I've been radically changed! I'm full of life and love. I know who I am and who I am in the Lord. I'm more fearless and bold in the Lord than ever before. I've got direction, with the Lord directing my steps. I've got a peace and joy that not only can I not describe, but that I've never experienced before!

Thank you so much for faithfully reading my blogs each week, continually praying for me, the encouraging emails/text messages, the financial contributions, and the love!!! I am fully dependent on the Lord, but must stay connected to the body of Christ, "And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another..." Hebrews 10:25. God has used you all to speak to me! I so appreciate your obedience, faithfulness, patience, and love. If you want to hear more stories (there are tons) from my trip or more about what I experienced, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me :) (Obviously I'm a bit busy, but will make time if you sincerely want to hear!). If you want to hear more about this Jesus that I've talked so much about, please contact me too!! But, don't wait too long, I've been given some amazing visions, I'm on fire for the Lord, and will be on the move again "soon" :)

I'm signing off this blog for the last time :)

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle

Christmas Day is almost here!!

No, Michelle isn't high on drugs, no I haven't been sniffing too many garbage fumes from all the garbage clean-ups, nor am I following any odd African calendars!!! :) You see, when I left 5 months ago to come here to Uganda, it felt a bit like Christmas eve. Think about when you were little or if you have kids now...the excitement and anticipation on Christmas eve, the hustle and bustle all around town, the cleaning, cooking and preparing, and for Christians, the heart preparation and celebration. Though the world around us gets caught up in "stuff", we know the true celebration of Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ, our Savior, and can spend time reflecting on that. Sooooo, the night before I left to come here, I was excited, busy packing and running all around, focused on Jesus and excited about the work He was going to do in me and thru me, had great anticipation for the next day, ect. I was coming to visit a whole lot of family that I'd never met before!! I've been here fixing my eyes on Jesus, doing Kingdom work, visiting with my newfound "relatives"...but now realizing that the day after Christmas is quickly approaching, and you know what that means! It means, sad goodbyes with the relatives you love so very much, no more feasting on amazing home cooked food and sitting around the dinner table having amazing talks and discussions, it means getting back to work (although I have definitely been working, just a different kind of work here), it means no more girl talks late at night, and it means packing and traveling, traveling, traveling!!!

There are 2 big things I realized this morning, that I wanted to blog about. First, I have a HUGE family in Uganda of lots of brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles that I've become super close with and that love me dearly (and of course I love them)! :) Second, I don't really have a physical place I call "home" on this earth...my home is truly right next to the Father's Heart...that's the only place I wanna call home. I will go whereever in the world that He asks me to go and can adapt to any situation/circumstance/environment as long as I'm next to the Father's Heart! At the beginning of the trip, I never thought I could get used to all the dust, the heat, no air conditioning ever, cold showers, power outages, etc. However, if the Lord asked me to move to Uganda and call it "home", I could and would do it, because I really do think of any physical place as "home" anymore!

So, does this mean my calling is full-time overseas missions?? Only the Lord knows this. All I know is that I'm more in love with Him than life itself, am hungry and thirsty for more and more of Him, want to spread His Word and love all around, want to be obedient to Him, and just wanna be me (who He created me to be!!!!)

Have to go finish packing, writing some cards, hanging out with the internationals...oh yeah, and sleep a bit!! :) Graduated from discipleship school tonight and serve at church for the last time tomorrow! I leave Uganda Sunday night about 10pm (3pm in Florida) and arrive in FL on Tuesday evening. If you think about it, please keep me in your prayers for traveling mercies! Also, I do need some Favor...as of right now, I still don't have my passport in my hands and I have no exit visa to leave the country....long story...but need some divine intervention to actually leave the country smoothly with no financial corruption issues!!

Love you all and see some of you very, very soon!!!

Living to know Him more and more,
Michelle

No longer "us" and "them"...but now WE!!

I really can't look at the Ugandans as Ugandans anymore. Yes, I still respect their culture, and yes I know they are different and unique from me...but something has changed within me, and I can't quite explain it. Several months ago, I prayed that the Lord would make me colorblind! I quickly asked for that request back, in order to make it more specific...I wanted to be colorblind to nationalities and races...I wanted to see ALL His People the same color, in the same way, especially the Ugandans! Not see us "whites" and those "Ugandans". I told my roomies to let me know if my clothes started to mismatch because then the Lord really has made me colorblind to everything, hehe :) But, I truly do believe He's changed something inside me...much deeper than I have understanding over or that could actually change in my own strength or power.

It's hard to believe in less than one week I will be boarding a plane to head back to the States. Hard to believe I will be leaving this place I now call home. Hard to believe I will be leaving my roomies and all my Ugandan friends. When I came over here, I knew I would develop friendships, but I never anticipated a close bonding like this!!!

One of the most touching moments this past week for me was with one of my classmates. Over and over I'm learning a valuable lesson that you never know how much the Lord is using you or how the Holy Spirit is working through you...stay fixed and focused on Him and as a yielded vessel and let Him work :) This classmate had me finish lunch real quick and took me in the main church sanctuary (noone is really in there during lunch hour) and he told me that he wrote a song for me. Right before singing it, he looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Michelle, I don't have money to buy you a nice gift or food or even a card...but I instead, I wrote you this song...".Then he proceeded to hop on the piano to play and sing me the song. It was the sweetest thing...such a form of agape (Godly love). Afterwards, he just told me how much he appreciated me caring about him as a person, how I challenge him in his walk with the Lord, and the way I live my life is such an example to him. Touched me deeply and humbled me completely!! I will forever remember his amazing song...it came straight from his precious heart!

We had our last Living Hope visits this week (HIV affected people in the community that we do home visits to). I'll just give you a brief 5 month time-line recap. So, 5 months ago when we first came to Aisha, she was a Muslim who was very nice, but quiet and reserved. Now, she is a born-again Christian...actually "sold-out" for the Lord!! She attends church every Sunday, small group every week, and has a friend who helps her read and understand the Bible we gave her!! We collected money (amongst ourselves) and bought some basic necessity items we noticed last time that she needed. Then, we spent some time asking her how she was doing, then praying, and worshiping. At the end of the visit, everyone gave her a brief message or word of encouragement. Next, there is baby Ruth. Five months ago, this little 3& 1/2 year old would literally sit so stoic during our entire visit. The most we could get her to say was "hi and "fine" (she understands a bit of English). The other kids in the home interacted more than she did. However, on this visit, we had a "kids party" for all of them. We had party hats, balloons, cookies, cake, soda, and bubbles.
Oh, and this is funny... so, the morning of Living Hope, I had all the things packed to go and also had this small, rubber pink ball to take with us, but wasn't quite sure what we were going to use it for yet. I was running a little late and went rushing into the bathroom to brush my teeth. We keep all of our empty water bottles stacked over in the corner on the cement floor in the bathroom, by the trash can, because the trash can is too small to fit them all. Well, the day before, I was in pretty significant pain from the kidney stones, so I usually increase the amount of water I drink to try and decrease the pain....so there were lots and lots of empty water bottles sitting there. Sooooo, lots of water bottles + Michelle rushing around = Michelle runs into all of them and knocks them all down around the bathroom floor making a loud crashing noise!! Oops! But, God then gave me the funniest idea...bowling with empty water bottles using my small pink ball! Classic and totally TIA :) Guess He really does take pain and suffering and turn it to joy in the morning ;)
Anyways, the kids party was a blast! Baby Ruth jumped into our arms when she saw us, she was talking, and dancing almost the whole time! She LOVED the balloons! I think we blew up about 30 balloons. Picture 30 balloons, 10 of us, the caregiver, and 5 children, sitting in the space literally the size of a bathroom. Ruth was nonstop giggling! She would get 3 balloons in each hand and shake her little hands as fast as she could...giggling the whole time. Wow, a child giggling and laughing...it warms my heart like nothing else can!!!
Finally, there's Samuel. Obviously, as I blogged previously, this precious 17 year old passed away and we attended his funeral about a month ago. However, although we no longer had a "client" to see, we decided to check on the uncle and family, just to see how they were doing. (Ugandans grieving process is very different than American/Western world, however; you never know how the Lord can use you to touch and affect other people...just be open and available!) Unfortunately, the uncle had to leave just before we got there, he got called to an urgent meeting, so we talked and prayed with the wife for a bit and left a card for him.

There is soooo much more happening, I just can't seem to fit it all into one blog :) There's someone I just met at the guesthouse this week, who may be a direct connection and "next step" to my latest vision about the near future (God-ordained appointment!)...I ventured into the slums to have a traditional lunch with some locals this week (awesome, interesting experience!)...having amazing encounters with the Lord (unexplainable experiences!)...unbelievable, memorable conversations with people recently (God appointed and Holy Spirit led!)...and much, much more!!!

Sooooo much to do and so little time left here now!! Trying to pack everything into these last few days.
Christmas Day is approaching....you'll have to wait till the next blog post for my explanation on this one ;)

Love you all!!

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle


PS The other night the girls couldn't sleep and we had to be up extra early to serve at church the next day (we stay upstairs and the boys stay downstairs all the way on the other side of the guesthouse). So, in our pajamas, we all grabbed our pillows...ran across the guesthouse...and knocked on their door...bombarded their room...and proceeded to make ourselves comfortable for a bedtime story :) They are such good sports!! There's 3 guys...so one started the story and they would take turns telling the story, making it up as they went along. We told them it couldn't be scary...so they started the story in Ponyland...that's no joke...they really are funny and are such good sports...and destined to have lots of daughters :)