My final blog-I'm back in the States!!!!

By the way, the picture shown above is some of the precious, precious girls at our guesthouse who are being adopted! One of them stayed at our guesthouse with her dad, while the other two stayed at a guesthouse down the road with their dad. The dad's happened to meet each other, both going thru the adoption process, both had wives back in the States, both Christians, and the little girls had fun playing together...so the dad's would get together at our guesthouse every evening for coffee and talk, while the little girls would play! Really cool! Interestingly enough, their situation is actually a part of one of my future visions with mission work :)

I'm actually writing the first half of this blog while sitting on the plane from Amsterdam to Atlanta, on my last long stretch!! I'm sitting here shivering under a sweatshirt, socks, and 2 blankets...I really haven't been exposed to air conditioning the past 5 months :) I can't explain the emotional breakdown I'm going through!! I'm so torn between two places...it's really, really tough! A part of me can't stop thinking about my classmates and the international team and people back at the guesthouse. Some classmates wrote me letters, which I was unable to read before I left, so I'm catching up now, and they are just blessing and humbling me! The people who you think you have no effect on...the most unexpected people...those are the ones who are "secretly" watching your every move and tell you what an impact you have made and what a blessing you are...so humbling and unexpected!! Then, there's another part of me that's so excited to see my small group, my friends, and my co-workers in Florida...and whatever else God has waiting for me there! I don't think He brought me back to Florida "coincidentally". I'm pumped and ready to go :) I have no idea how long I will be there, but I will faithfully and joyfully serve there until I get commissioned elsewhere :) I admit that I'm nervous about the reverse culture shock that might lie ahead?!?!

Oh yeah, so you know I didn't have an exit visa to get out of the country...the only visa I had stamped expired a month ago! So, I stood in the airport and prayed one last prayer before getting in line to clear through. There were 2 people behind the glass, sitting at the desks checking visas/passports. I stepped up and handed my passport to the man administrator and I hear the woman administrator talking to another passenger about Watoto church being her home church! Ummm yeah, that's the church I just spent the last 5 months working for!!!! Do not hesitate, do not breathe...get in on that conversation as quickly as possible!!! We are over an hour away from Watoto church...this was not by chance, this was divine intervention, favor, and grace that this woman was working tonight and was a member of Watoto church...and I was going to accept this Godly favor!!! The man administrator started to give me a hard time, but I was confident that the Lord's hand was all over this, and I ended up getting thru just fine without having to purchase another visa!!! Those who have been on mission trips know the corruption, especially towards Americans, so this was a miracle and blessing that I got through with no issues, no visa, and no payments!!! Totally God!

Ok, I've now been back in Florida for 3 days now, and I'm ready to finish writing my very last blog on "Off to discover more of Him". Boy did I do this the last 5 months!!!!!! It's been an amazing journey and although I'm back in the States, I know my journey isn't over...my life IS a journey! When you live your life for the Lord, life becomes a journey, a good and exciting journey :) I've struggled quite a bit since being back, hitting major reverse culture shock (more than I anticipated!!). Been infiltrated with the western world, yet I've continued to have an unresounding peace and calmness within myself. It's as if the people and world around me are running at a million miles an hour and I'm standing still watching them go by with a smile on my face...I don't let anyone or anything affect the joy and peace within me! It's a very different pace here and people's lifestyles, thought process, concerns, and worries are just very different here! However, I'm very excited to see people and I do like the conveniences of the western world. Before I got in the car at the airport, I already had 2 cups of frozen yogurt, one in Atlanta and one in Tampa airport :) I'm not kidding you! I can use nice bathrooms actually sitting on toilets, have air conditioning, power is always on, hot showers, eat whatever I want, drive to the store to get whatever I need!!! Although this was my 8th mission trip and I've seen not just poor lifestyles, but poverty before; I've never realized how convenient and easily accessible EVERYTHING is in the States!! I'm sorry, but it really, truly is! So now when I hear people grumble and complain about things here, I see things from a whole new perspective and no longer see things through those eyes (my old eyes). I can't make judgments like that, from that viewpoint! (I'm now held to a new standard, yikes!!) "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more". Luke 12:48. This is where I start to realize I've been changed, and I will never be the same again. Some speculate and say it's just a phase and will slowly fade away. But, I disagree entirely! I know I've been molded and changed into His likeness for good! But, it's not my words that will convince you, it's my actions and the way I continue to live my life!! One of my closest friends in Uganda would say that you may not be able to keep a bird from flying over your head, but you sure can keep it from landing on your head and making a nest!! How true is that? :) I don't have to let "junk" land and nest on my head, whereas before I didn't think I could move out of the way, but now I know I have the power and authority (in Christ) and self-control to!! I can control what I allow to come in and affect/effect me! I have been taught so much in Uganda, I have seen so much in Uganda, and I have been molded and changed so much in Uganda! If you put junk in, you are going to get junk out! Simple and easy concept. Simple things like, I'm now more aware and careful about the TV shows, movies, video games, making time to spend with the Lord, etc (there's a cool fiction book called “Blessed Child” by Bill Bright and Ted Dekker, check it out!).

I'm now working at a new normal!!! I've had more paradigm shifts happen on this trip and my mind has been transformed and conformed, than I can write in a blog!! But like I said, it's not my words or blog that matter, it's how I live my life!! I've been radically changed! I'm full of life and love. I know who I am and who I am in the Lord. I'm more fearless and bold in the Lord than ever before. I've got direction, with the Lord directing my steps. I've got a peace and joy that not only can I not describe, but that I've never experienced before!

Thank you so much for faithfully reading my blogs each week, continually praying for me, the encouraging emails/text messages, the financial contributions, and the love!!! I am fully dependent on the Lord, but must stay connected to the body of Christ, "And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another..." Hebrews 10:25. God has used you all to speak to me! I so appreciate your obedience, faithfulness, patience, and love. If you want to hear more stories (there are tons) from my trip or more about what I experienced, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me :) (Obviously I'm a bit busy, but will make time if you sincerely want to hear!). If you want to hear more about this Jesus that I've talked so much about, please contact me too!! But, don't wait too long, I've been given some amazing visions, I'm on fire for the Lord, and will be on the move again "soon" :)

I'm signing off this blog for the last time :)

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle

Christmas Day is almost here!!

No, Michelle isn't high on drugs, no I haven't been sniffing too many garbage fumes from all the garbage clean-ups, nor am I following any odd African calendars!!! :) You see, when I left 5 months ago to come here to Uganda, it felt a bit like Christmas eve. Think about when you were little or if you have kids now...the excitement and anticipation on Christmas eve, the hustle and bustle all around town, the cleaning, cooking and preparing, and for Christians, the heart preparation and celebration. Though the world around us gets caught up in "stuff", we know the true celebration of Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ, our Savior, and can spend time reflecting on that. Sooooo, the night before I left to come here, I was excited, busy packing and running all around, focused on Jesus and excited about the work He was going to do in me and thru me, had great anticipation for the next day, ect. I was coming to visit a whole lot of family that I'd never met before!! I've been here fixing my eyes on Jesus, doing Kingdom work, visiting with my newfound "relatives"...but now realizing that the day after Christmas is quickly approaching, and you know what that means! It means, sad goodbyes with the relatives you love so very much, no more feasting on amazing home cooked food and sitting around the dinner table having amazing talks and discussions, it means getting back to work (although I have definitely been working, just a different kind of work here), it means no more girl talks late at night, and it means packing and traveling, traveling, traveling!!!

There are 2 big things I realized this morning, that I wanted to blog about. First, I have a HUGE family in Uganda of lots of brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles that I've become super close with and that love me dearly (and of course I love them)! :) Second, I don't really have a physical place I call "home" on this earth...my home is truly right next to the Father's Heart...that's the only place I wanna call home. I will go whereever in the world that He asks me to go and can adapt to any situation/circumstance/environment as long as I'm next to the Father's Heart! At the beginning of the trip, I never thought I could get used to all the dust, the heat, no air conditioning ever, cold showers, power outages, etc. However, if the Lord asked me to move to Uganda and call it "home", I could and would do it, because I really do think of any physical place as "home" anymore!

So, does this mean my calling is full-time overseas missions?? Only the Lord knows this. All I know is that I'm more in love with Him than life itself, am hungry and thirsty for more and more of Him, want to spread His Word and love all around, want to be obedient to Him, and just wanna be me (who He created me to be!!!!)

Have to go finish packing, writing some cards, hanging out with the internationals...oh yeah, and sleep a bit!! :) Graduated from discipleship school tonight and serve at church for the last time tomorrow! I leave Uganda Sunday night about 10pm (3pm in Florida) and arrive in FL on Tuesday evening. If you think about it, please keep me in your prayers for traveling mercies! Also, I do need some Favor...as of right now, I still don't have my passport in my hands and I have no exit visa to leave the country....long story...but need some divine intervention to actually leave the country smoothly with no financial corruption issues!!

Love you all and see some of you very, very soon!!!

Living to know Him more and more,
Michelle

No longer "us" and "them"...but now WE!!

I really can't look at the Ugandans as Ugandans anymore. Yes, I still respect their culture, and yes I know they are different and unique from me...but something has changed within me, and I can't quite explain it. Several months ago, I prayed that the Lord would make me colorblind! I quickly asked for that request back, in order to make it more specific...I wanted to be colorblind to nationalities and races...I wanted to see ALL His People the same color, in the same way, especially the Ugandans! Not see us "whites" and those "Ugandans". I told my roomies to let me know if my clothes started to mismatch because then the Lord really has made me colorblind to everything, hehe :) But, I truly do believe He's changed something inside me...much deeper than I have understanding over or that could actually change in my own strength or power.

It's hard to believe in less than one week I will be boarding a plane to head back to the States. Hard to believe I will be leaving this place I now call home. Hard to believe I will be leaving my roomies and all my Ugandan friends. When I came over here, I knew I would develop friendships, but I never anticipated a close bonding like this!!!

One of the most touching moments this past week for me was with one of my classmates. Over and over I'm learning a valuable lesson that you never know how much the Lord is using you or how the Holy Spirit is working through you...stay fixed and focused on Him and as a yielded vessel and let Him work :) This classmate had me finish lunch real quick and took me in the main church sanctuary (noone is really in there during lunch hour) and he told me that he wrote a song for me. Right before singing it, he looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Michelle, I don't have money to buy you a nice gift or food or even a card...but I instead, I wrote you this song...".Then he proceeded to hop on the piano to play and sing me the song. It was the sweetest thing...such a form of agape (Godly love). Afterwards, he just told me how much he appreciated me caring about him as a person, how I challenge him in his walk with the Lord, and the way I live my life is such an example to him. Touched me deeply and humbled me completely!! I will forever remember his amazing song...it came straight from his precious heart!

We had our last Living Hope visits this week (HIV affected people in the community that we do home visits to). I'll just give you a brief 5 month time-line recap. So, 5 months ago when we first came to Aisha, she was a Muslim who was very nice, but quiet and reserved. Now, she is a born-again Christian...actually "sold-out" for the Lord!! She attends church every Sunday, small group every week, and has a friend who helps her read and understand the Bible we gave her!! We collected money (amongst ourselves) and bought some basic necessity items we noticed last time that she needed. Then, we spent some time asking her how she was doing, then praying, and worshiping. At the end of the visit, everyone gave her a brief message or word of encouragement. Next, there is baby Ruth. Five months ago, this little 3& 1/2 year old would literally sit so stoic during our entire visit. The most we could get her to say was "hi and "fine" (she understands a bit of English). The other kids in the home interacted more than she did. However, on this visit, we had a "kids party" for all of them. We had party hats, balloons, cookies, cake, soda, and bubbles.
Oh, and this is funny... so, the morning of Living Hope, I had all the things packed to go and also had this small, rubber pink ball to take with us, but wasn't quite sure what we were going to use it for yet. I was running a little late and went rushing into the bathroom to brush my teeth. We keep all of our empty water bottles stacked over in the corner on the cement floor in the bathroom, by the trash can, because the trash can is too small to fit them all. Well, the day before, I was in pretty significant pain from the kidney stones, so I usually increase the amount of water I drink to try and decrease the pain....so there were lots and lots of empty water bottles sitting there. Sooooo, lots of water bottles + Michelle rushing around = Michelle runs into all of them and knocks them all down around the bathroom floor making a loud crashing noise!! Oops! But, God then gave me the funniest idea...bowling with empty water bottles using my small pink ball! Classic and totally TIA :) Guess He really does take pain and suffering and turn it to joy in the morning ;)
Anyways, the kids party was a blast! Baby Ruth jumped into our arms when she saw us, she was talking, and dancing almost the whole time! She LOVED the balloons! I think we blew up about 30 balloons. Picture 30 balloons, 10 of us, the caregiver, and 5 children, sitting in the space literally the size of a bathroom. Ruth was nonstop giggling! She would get 3 balloons in each hand and shake her little hands as fast as she could...giggling the whole time. Wow, a child giggling and laughing...it warms my heart like nothing else can!!!
Finally, there's Samuel. Obviously, as I blogged previously, this precious 17 year old passed away and we attended his funeral about a month ago. However, although we no longer had a "client" to see, we decided to check on the uncle and family, just to see how they were doing. (Ugandans grieving process is very different than American/Western world, however; you never know how the Lord can use you to touch and affect other people...just be open and available!) Unfortunately, the uncle had to leave just before we got there, he got called to an urgent meeting, so we talked and prayed with the wife for a bit and left a card for him.

There is soooo much more happening, I just can't seem to fit it all into one blog :) There's someone I just met at the guesthouse this week, who may be a direct connection and "next step" to my latest vision about the near future (God-ordained appointment!)...I ventured into the slums to have a traditional lunch with some locals this week (awesome, interesting experience!)...having amazing encounters with the Lord (unexplainable experiences!)...unbelievable, memorable conversations with people recently (God appointed and Holy Spirit led!)...and much, much more!!!

Sooooo much to do and so little time left here now!! Trying to pack everything into these last few days.
Christmas Day is approaching....you'll have to wait till the next blog post for my explanation on this one ;)

Love you all!!

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle


PS The other night the girls couldn't sleep and we had to be up extra early to serve at church the next day (we stay upstairs and the boys stay downstairs all the way on the other side of the guesthouse). So, in our pajamas, we all grabbed our pillows...ran across the guesthouse...and knocked on their door...bombarded their room...and proceeded to make ourselves comfortable for a bedtime story :) They are such good sports!! There's 3 guys...so one started the story and they would take turns telling the story, making it up as they went along. We told them it couldn't be scary...so they started the story in Ponyland...that's no joke...they really are funny and are such good sports...and destined to have lots of daughters :)

"If you're clappy and you know it..."

That's the song a little girl staying at our guesthouse sung to me this past week..."if you're clappy and you know it, clap your hands..."!! She's 5 years old and undergoing the final adoption process by a younger Christian couple from Michigan. She's just beyond precious and still learning English ;) Her name is Abby, and she puts a smile on my face everytime I see her! (God's actually given me a new vision and used her as an inspiration and encouragement to move forward with this "crazy vision"!!)

So, this blog I'm going to share some this past weeks events...hopefully you can feel like you've actually been here in Uganda with me :)

On Tuesday, we had our last visit to the Remand Home and Wells of Hope. Wells of Hope is the place I've absolutely fallen in love with!! We spent the majority of time playing with the children outside...it was extremely hot, BUT the kids were laughing and having a blast! We were learning new worship songs with actions, playing treasure hunt with candy, running through the dirt playing other games, and just loving on all of them!! Despite all the despair and hopelessness the kids may have been "feeling" and experiencing, I believe they sincerely felt loved, had fun, and experienced joy and happiness!

For the past few weeks, we've had teachings on the Beatitudes (the Sermon on the Mount). For those that don't know, it's a teaching/preaching that Jesus gave (check it out in the Bible, Matthew chapter 5), that proclaimed Jesus' attitude and challenged religious leaders of that day. We have gone in depth through it and it's truly changing me from the inside-out. I can't even explain it! What it means to be poor in spirit...to be hungry and thirsty for His righteousness...to have a pure heart...and God's rewards for all of these. Studying His Word and the Holy Spirit and being in Uganda....man it will mess you up...and is completely changing my life :)

One of my groups had to do a teaching this week, and our topic was "sincerity". We got the topic a while ago and the day we got it, I asked the Lord to begin to prepare me...boy did He (always be careful what you pray for!!!). We had 3 days of teaching (only 30 minutes each day). The first day, everyone in the group participated...God totally wrote the program in such a creative way :) I love to be unique and creative...and He knows that (and since He is THE Creator, it was awesome)...we performed a skit that I wrote, played a song, prayed, and had the class journal about some specific questions (this program was completely different than any other groups program previously). All the glory goes to the Lord...He completely wrote the program, and I was just obedient to listen and follow His plan. Day 2, another girl taught the whole session, and did a wonderful job...and day 3, I taught the whole session. It was completely anointed. I didn't go in wanting to just teach a lesson, I wanted to get to deeper issues and change lives...use the foundation of sincerity, but go much deeper...and God totally allowed me to do that! It was incredible! I challenged some people, agitated others, excited others...but in the end, I know it wasn't ME that did anything...it was the Holy Spirit working through me...so let people get angry, frustrated, and agitated...I was just the yielded vessel...they can take their issues up with the Lord :)

Well, the night before I was preparing the teaching, I was up pretty late and sitting in the common room, and in walks a really cool missionary from the States! God is so amazing how He orchestrates us to meet people and do things! I was tired and pressed for time, but even at midnight, I will stop and talk with another missionary ;) His name is Josh and he's from Texas, in transit to Sudan for a couple months. He was there last year and helped start an orphanage. He's going back now for the ground work on a primary school. He's in his 20's, yet been all over the world already, and was sharing many of his amazing experiences with me...nothing short of incredible, miraculous, and powerful!! There's no doubt the Lord's Hand is all over his life and he is filled with the Holy Spirit. He's very interested in working with Iris Ministries at some point (Heidi Baker's foundation) and some of you know that's the other ministry I was considering to do discipleship/missions training with. It's very possible Josh and I will cross in mission ministry path's again someday! I'm very interested in doing mission work in Sudan, and he told me Heidi Baker has ministry set up there :)

So, the same day I did the sincerity teaching (and had very little sleep the night before because I was talking to Josh and preparing the teaching), we had our "seed project" in the afternoon. (I believe I blogged about the project several weeks ago). Every group was sent out to a specific area to do street ministry and instructed to find out the needs of the community, and then come back to brain-storm ideas on how to best meet the needs. In the area we went to, the LC (lead commissioner) of the area doesn't have good relations with the community and there's not good communication and there's no respect for him. People of the community dump all their trash right outside his office (to express their frustration and anger), so the area is a mess. Also, the kids are very overpopulated and very disobedient...many involved in gangs and bullying. The atmosphere of the community is just bad and you can "feel" it as you walk around. The first time we visited, it just felt unpeaceful and like everyone was disgruntled and in strife. No love. No Jesus.
Soooooo, on Friday, we went back to implement "our project". Our plan didn't happen exactly as we anticipated (TIA), and I won't tell you what we originally planned (because it would take too long), so I'll just give you a glimpse of what did happen! We had a team of 8 people (6 Ugandans and 2 Muzungus), because a couple members were out sick :( We borrowed T-shirts from the hospitality department at the church, so we all looked uniform, and had a box of water donated (to give away to people), a bunch of gloves, a couple shoves, several brooms, a couple rakes, a couple hoes, and 2 megaphones....and we all boarded a matatu. There's a large hill that you must walk up with cows and trash to the sides, and at the top is the LC's office and the community. We all stood at the bottom of the hill (looked at "our project" at the top of the hill)....got in a big circle and prayed just before walking up the muddy hill in our matching T-shirts...are you picturing this?? ;) Oh, I forgot to mention, we also got a cable to attach to the megaphone and plugged my iPOD into it. I prayed about what songs to put on the playlist (our objective was to attract the kids and youth...so we could talk with them and/or get them involved in our trash clean-up). We hung the megaphone around the back of the other muzungu on the team, and started blasting the music (it didn't sound perfect, but it honestly didn't sound that bad either). What I didn't realize, was the first song that was on the playlist was called "Unashamed" by Lecrae (it's a Christian hip-hop song). I don't normally listen to hip-hop, so I really had to allow the Lord to lead me when I was making this playlist. The lyrics at the beginning say, "We unashamed....unashamed....unashamed....we unashamed...unashamed.....". Obviously there's more depth to the song, but how appropriate that we come walking up blasting that song...God is sooo cool! Well, pretty much instantly the kids are flooding out...between hearing the music and seeing the 2 muzungus...they want to know what we are doing there?! The trash piles looked overwhelming...we are time-limited....it seems like an impossible task! Alright God, here we go...this is for Your glory :) Well, it was nothing less than awesome!! The kids see what we are doing and start grabbing brooms and shovels to help us and hold trash bags open for us. At one point I had a child in between my legs, holding the broom with me, to help me sweep. I started to think that we could get so much more done if some of the younger kids weren't there BUT God said to me, "it's much more important that these younger kids see the example that you are. They only see bad, negative examples around here, and this will leave a lasting impression on them. You just continue to work hard and hug on them and love them and leave the rest to Me".
I had several "favorite moments" during the clean-up. One was when I looked over and saw a little boy, maybe 3 or 4 years old, holding onto a water bottle, and breaking it down to the hip-hop music...it was beyond precious!! Another favorite moment was when some of the cows had wandered up the hill really close to where we were cleaning the trash (these are cows with horns...I guess that would make them bulls???). Anyways, about 4 little kids took their brooms (that were bigger than they are, hehe), lifted them over their heads (with such authority) and started chasing the cows down the hill using the brooms. Obviously thinking they were helping us out, which they were. HOWEVER, 2 members from our team were picking trash at the bottom of the hill and suddenly these cows/bulls come charging down the hill at them...they go running and yelling in different directions to get out of the way...oh my, it was classic, I almost had to sit down, I was laughing so hard!! Last thing...one of my other favorite parts was actually our walk home. It's about a 25 minute walk home and you have to picture this! We are walking through a main part of Kampala city...it's Friday evening and packed...people everywhere...cars everywhere....buses everywhere!! We are dressed in matching white T-shirts, which aren't so white anymore, hehe, we are sweaty, carrying brooms, shovels, and rakes. Because the sidewalks are pretty crowded, we are forced to walk in a line or in pairs...but leading us is one muzungu guy with a megaphone strapped around his back. We decided to walk the streets of Kampala and play our new "theme song", Unashamed, because the lyrics are so fitting, "...we ain't ashamed, you can call us lame....God has resurrected Him and I'm here to glorify Him, My Jesus, Jesus, Jesus....". It's a total hip-hop song and you can't help but move to the beat...we were all putting a little "move" into our step and we were rapping along with the song, or trying to, hehe :) We were laughing and having so much fun!! (The others on my team couldn't believe that I had that type of music on my iPOD, they said it was perfect to attract the people we were trying to reach....yep, God is perfect!!) It made the walk in the HOT sun, after just cleaning up trash for 2 hours, a lot less tiresome and A TON more fun :) I love my team, they are hard-working, strive for excellence, care about His People, pray, and listen to His voice...makes it very easy and pleasurable to serve alongside them...I'm going to miss them sooooo much!!! I hope we made an impact in the slum area we went to...bridging the gap between the LC and community is not easy, leading tough gang members onto a straight path is not easy, bringing peace to a community is not easy.....but we serve a big God and with Him ALL things are possible....if anything, I know we planted several seeds!!!

I think my blogs are getting longer and longer (when I sit down to write, I don't intend for them to be so long)...but I think subconsciously I know the end is soon coming to this incredible and indescribable experience! Only 2 more weeks left here in Uganda, but I'm staying fixed and focused; I must finish here before I can think about home (in Florida) :)

Love you all!

Living to know Him more and more,
Michelle

What's your hope in??

Or better question is...who is your hope in?? To sum up this week...frustrating, discouraging, and disappointing!! How can a missionary living in amazing Uganda and seeing the Lord moving in miraculous ways have such a week AND then blog with such emotional honesty?? Easy...because I'm Michelle and I'm real and human AND just make sure you read the whole blog ;)

This Tuesday my group was supposed to go to the prisons (this is the 2nd scheduled visit, but the 1st time the paperwork didn't go through and we ended up showing up that morning thinking we were going to prison but sent out to do street ministry instead). We had our whole program planned out. On Monday, I received a text from the girl in my group who was supposed to be preaching at the prison, and she had malaria and didn't know if she would make it AND that I should be prepared to give the message. HA! I've never even stepped foot inside a prison, and certainly never preached in a prison before! I wasn't feeling physically well that day either, so I got up early Tuesday morning (the day of the prison visit) and prayed, asking the Lord what He wanted me to speak on (if the other girl was indeed too sick to preach). A message began to drop in my heart and I wrote a few notes down and slowly the message began to stir and formulate in my heart. We arrived at the church to pick up the rest of the group and boarded the bus to head to the prison. The busride was unusually quiet...I think we were all a little nervous (noone had visited the prison before). There were 3 groups on the bus...some were going to a women's prison, men's prison, and death row prison (my group was going to the women's prison). When we arrived at the gate, many of the prisoners were outside doing yardwork...I suddenly got a very nervous feeling that overwhelmed me....stronger than the message that was powerfully stirring inside me! I turned to the girl who was sick and supposed to be giving the message and jokingly told her that I thought she was going to get miraculously better and be able to preach, so I didn't have to :) The guards gave us a very hard time, although we had all the correct paperwork, but finally made our way to an office (without our leader because they wouldn't let him in at first...long story!!). I'm the only muzungu in this group so I was a bit uncomfortable...especially since we were trying to find our way to an office without our leader!! So, I was still a bit nervous, but this message continued to stir and stir in me and God actually started adding to the message using some of the items that were sitting around the office (He was speaking to me like crazy!) I was getting pumped and ready to give this message!! Well, we sat and sat in this office. One hour went by....we were told the prisoners were being counted....ANOTHER hour went by....we were told the prisoners had to be recounted because there was a miscount-TIA....ANOTHER hour went by as we watched them going for lunch!!!!! We sat in this office waiting for over THREE hours-TIA (they knew weeks in advance that we were coming)!!! Then, our bus came and we had to leave before making it out of the office and seeing any of the prisoners! No praise and worship, no skit, no special song, no message, no prayer, no nothing.....!!! I left disappointed, frustrated, and discouraged!!!!

THEN, we were supposed to go back to the village to stay and do construction from Wed-Sat. BUT, I ended up not going :( I had not slept more than 12 hours in the previous 4 days....been in pain from the kidney stones and just been incredibly exhausted and run-down (we have been on-the-go in full-time ministry for 4 months straight, it's all catching up with me)! My leader was completely ok with me taking the time-off, but of course, I was not ;) Those that know me, are snickering right now! I'm very stubborn and hard-working and like to push through things! But, I opted not to push through and work in my own strength and power...I took a time-out to rest and spend some intimate time with the Lord (reflecting on what's been going on the past 4 months). This was a very difficult thing for me to do, I wanted to go do the work, not "reflect and relax" and not "just be"! However, I realized that God would not be receiving the glory He deserved....Michelle would...YIKES! But, not being able to join the others still left me disappointed, frustrated, and discouraged.

A word that got prophetically spoken over me several weeks ago was "be available". Then this past week, the word that was prophetically spoken was "be flexible". These are so true and fitting...and I'm holding onto them, but, it's much more than that! Just because things don't work out the way we plan or the way we believe God called us to do something...does NOT mean we've missed Him....does NOT mean we have failed Him...does NOT mean we've disappointed Him!!

Instead of being so self-focused and concerned about where we should be or what we should be doing, we should be committed by faith to following His Spirit, whatever God chooses to do in our life....focus on Him. I'm reminded about a particular incident with Abraham. One day the Lord tells Abraham to go to the mountains to sacrifice his son. The next day He tells Abraham, wait, replace your son with a ram to sacrifice instead. What if Abraham was not attentive to the Lord's voice in that moment? What if Abraham was so focused on a word from yesterday? What if Abraham was so focused on where he was going and what he was doing, and not paying attention to the Lord's voice in that moment?

There are many reasons to speculate why the prison didn't happen, despite God giving me a message and there are also many reasons why I was sleepless and rundown right before going out to the village, but I didn't spend much time trying to figure it all out...I wanted to, but instead kept my eyes focused on Him and believe the understanding will come later, if ever!
I continue to remind myself of Isaiah 55:8-9 (one of my memory verses), "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts' says the Lord, 'and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts'". Yep, I know all this is easier written, than done....let go, and let God! I'm not letting this past week keep me down and discouraged. I'm pressing more into Him. I'm finding refuge in Him. Each day is a fresh new start...actually every hour I'm finding new opportunities....new people to talk to, new songs to listen to and heights to worship from, fresh words from the Lord, new visions from Him, amazing conversations with amazing people, and so much more...the experiences are just too numerous to list. God doesn't just move here in Uganda...He does the same thing back home...I think we just get too caught up in the "busyness" to stop and realize how amazing and indescribable His works and love are!!! But even then, I'm trying not to let people or circumstances define my mood, outlook, hope, or who I am; keeping my eyes on Him, His Word, and letting Him define who I am!

It's funny, I've only got 3 weeks left, but I have an odd sense these next 3 weeks may be more difficult than getting me on a plane over here (poor Terri Dieter knows how many texts and emails she received from me right before I left....freaked out that doing this trip was insane and a big mistake)! God's chiseling out the last bit of "me" that needs to go and putting His finishing touches on His Masterpiece (Eph 2:10)....but I'm squirming all around, making it very difficult for Him....I must fix my eyes on Him and remained focused and finish here :)

PS You would think after being here for 4 months I would be used to the bugs and no more bug stories....ok, just one more ;) We've come up with a new song/dance, and apparently I've perfected the moves ;) I like to call it the "muzungu crazy unidentifiable creature dance". So, last week after being in the village the whole week, we we came back to discover our room was now occupied....by large green bugs!!!!! They look like grasshoppers, have antennas like cockroaches, leap like antelopes, and fly like birds...can you imagine or name it?? Ok, I exaggerated a bit on the last part....but they can jump AND fly!! We've named them "Cliff"! Since these invaded our room (not kidding, there were at least 30 in our bedroom/bathroom alone....this doesn't count the kitchen, sitting room, hallways, etc)....but it makes it very easy to practice the dance! It's simple, you just have to sit anywhere...in your bed, outside, in the sitting room on the couch, even on the toilet....and just wait....within a short period of time...this large green bug will be landing on you from out of nowhere!! (I even stepped on one when I was getting up from the toilet at 3am the other night....yeah, I kinda woke my roomies up with my nice little squeal...I now use a light when I go to the bathroom from now on, hehe!!!) Anyways, when you get one on you, inevitably they love to land in my hair (hence the reason I've perfected the dance so well)....you jump up....run in place like the girl from Flashdance....throw up your arms around like you are trying to swat an annoying fly....throw your head (if it's in your hair) down in the direction of the person sitting closest to you....and sing in a frantic, high-pitched tone, "get it out, get it out" or a variation, "get it off....get it off".
It's a lot of fun...really....I've got 3 more weeks here....come on over and I can teach it to you...I'm very good at doing it now ;)

Love you all!! Thank you for faithfully praying....like I said, 3 more weeks in Uganda....

Living to know Him more and share His Love,

Michelle

Never Known Love Like This!!

One of my classmates recently told me he wanted to discuss something with me...about what love really is. WOW! I have no idea where he is going with this and why he wants to talk with ME in particular about it?! However, the Lord has actually really, really been showing and talking to me about what love is!

From being on this trip, I can honestly state, "I've never known a love like this". I'll try to explain why :)

First, God's love for me (and all His People) is just indescribable! I can't say this enough! The ways He provides for us daily, the breath-taking nature we are surrounded by (especially here in Uganda), the giftings and talents He allows us to operate in, the amazing variety of foods he provides us to eat, and all the people He orchestrates for us to encounter on a daily basis!! I can't comprehend how much He loves me (us), but my eyes are opening a bit more to it since being here in Uganda....I've never known a love like this!!

Second, I've never known (or had) a love for His People like this...especially the Ugandans here. I don't care how much of an introvert you are or how hurt you have been by other people...you're not an island that can survive on your own, and God created us for relationship! I just have this outpouring of love for people, even complete strangers!! The best way I know how to explain it is to use an example with my car gas tank :) When I fill up my gas tank in my car, I usually tap it off until I can't fill anymore....I fill it completely, actually I fill it past the "F" mark, I fill the "extra" overfill space too. I have no idea how much gas is held in that space (what can I say, I'm a girl, hehe), I just know there is quite a bit because it lasts a while :) This is the best way I can explain my love for His People...it's all contained in this "overfill space" and once I pour it out (or use it) on His People and the gauge needle moves down to the "F" line or a little lower...the Lord fills me up to overflowing again!! I'm constantly sharing/showing love to others from out of my overflow space AND the love I give to God Himself is instantly returned back to me, as if it never left "the tank" in the first place...it's an incredible cycle and that's the best way I can explain it! I've never known a love like this!!

BUT, the best way I know to describe true love...ummm are you willing to die for someone? If your mom or dad were being held at gunpoint, would you offer to stand in their place? If your husband or wife were walking in front of a car and about to get hit, would you run in front, killing yourself but saving them? Your best friend is about to be raped and killed, would you stand in their place? Are you willing to take their place and die for someone??? This is love. BUT, true love...true love is being willing to do these things for a complete stranger. Are you willing to die for a complete stranger?? One who is practically killing themselves on drugs and alcohol or who is stealing, committing adultery, gossiping about you, mocked you for your entire life....would you be willing to die for any of them? Jesus was AND did! ("But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:While we were still sinners, Christ died for us". Romans 5:8) Now that's true love! Ultimate love! Perfect love! That's the love that flows thru me and to His People! Meet my Jesus, who is all I need and more than enough for me. Christians who are reading this blog know and experience this love I'm talking about. However, if you've never known my Jesus, but are curious about Him and His Love....I'll be home in 4 weeks...let's talk...I can make us some amazing African tea and we'll chat :)

Now, to talk about the past 2 weeks....spent 1&1/2 weeks in village and a couple days in Gulu (northern Uganda)!

We did trauma counseling for the kids in the village (around 350 kids). It was pretty challenging for me, because my group was challenging; it was difficult getting them to open up and talk (I ended up not being a leader of a group because our director wanted to take some pressure off of me because I was in severe pain from kidney stones just days before going...I think I would have been fine leading, but that's ok!). But, I'm going to spend some one-on-one time with a few of them, and believe the Lord is going to work some healing and trust building through it. However, what I gained most was actually the village experience...living in the "difficult" conditions, living with Ugandans, and being around my Ugandan classmates 24/7! I actually was put in a home with one of the other muzungus (which was a blessing) to venture with no electricity, no hot showers, a more primitive setting, together. I'll share some questions we whispered back and forth the past 2 weeks:

"So how do we brush our teeth...there's no sink??

"Wow, putting in contacts in the dark using a flashlight and compact makeup mirror...this is a first...should I try to audition for you've got talent??

"The mosquitoes here must be fed some kind of toxic growth hormone...they are huge and can bite you from any angle...watch out!"

"(after using the hole-n-the-ground toilets)...ok I stepped in something, I don't know what it was, I don't want to know...will someone please just clean my shoes for me?"

"I just hand-washed my clothes this weekend and I still smell like cheesy feet...why do I always smell like cheesy feet??? This is disgusting!"

"(all the doors and windows stay open during the day. We were having afternoon tea and I'm sitting facing the door.) Steph, look.... (there was a chicken walking right past the door with a rope around it's foot)....well, there goes dinner, TIA"

Our home had "a mom" (not biological because these are all orphans), and 7 teenage girls. The homes all contain 3 bedrooms (1 for the mom and 2 for the kids), a kitchen, dining area, small sitting area, and bathroom. Our mom was soooo sweet and the girls were great. I'll tell you about one of my favorite nights...it was Wed night. We went to small group with one of the teen housemates (it's a youth small group, that's led by a youth as well). So encouraging to see such mature youth and firm in their faith! Later that night, after dinner, 2 of the girls showed us some traditional dancing from their culture. Then, my roomie taught them some freestyle dancing :) This was all done in the dark with a small lantern...sooo cool! I brought the card game, "Slap"...and knew that would be a good tool to help bond timid, shy girls together...and sure enough, it did! Again, with a little light from the lantern, we played Slap...making sure we didn't knock the lantern off the table (those who have played the card game before know what I'm talking about, hehe!!)....we giggled and giggled and giggled...had the best time with my new Ugandan sisters and stayed up way too late ;)

Every afternoon I walked up a huge hill to their sports field and played basketball!! There's a guy in my class who's great at basketball and an excellent teacher...so a group of us would get lessons from him :) Ok, I confess, the first couple days, I spent more time running than I did playing...he's a tough coach and would make us run a certain amount for missed shots or if we did bad in the drills :) I had a blast...played with people from my class and some of the kids from counseling. Mercy (one of the girls from my class who is in a picture on the right) and I called ourselves "M-squared"....neither of us have ever played basketball before and so the 2 M's stuck together and "coach" had a hard time splitting up the "M-squared dream team" ;)

We also spent 2 days in Gulu just visiting the area. (I actually did a medical mission trip there with Dr Vega and we partnered with Watoto Gulu...so being there brought back lots of memories). We visited the church, baby orphanage, a couple IDP camps, did a mini game run safari, saw Murchison Falls, Living Hope Ministry, and we stayed overnight in the same place I did 3 years ago when I came. The same security guard actually still works there and guess what...he remembered me!! We spent about an hour talking and catching up (he is wonderful) and I was SOOOO excited to see him...I can't believe he still works there! I really love Gulu. There's a special atmosphere there. Although there was an insane war terrorizing people just 5 years ago, there's now a sweet peace. Although I know people are still hurting and left traumatized and much healing and restoration is still needed...they are so friendly and sincerely sweet. We had such a good time there. Most of my classmates have not stayed at an inn nor been on a safari, so it was awesome being around them and their excitement :)

Next week is a little different too...Tuesday my group is venturing to do prison ministry (my first time in a prison EVER) and then the rest of the week we are doing construction building in a Watoto village (and staying in the village again, so more ice cold showers and lantern living!!)

4 more weeks till I leave Uganda!!

Thanks again for reading, this was a long one! As always, thanks for your continued support, encouragement, and love!

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle

2 weddings and a funeral- The Gift of Life

I'm definitely reminded this week of how powerful the Lord truly is. I'm reminded how grateful I am for the breath of life. I'm reminded how quickly life on this earth can end and I don't want to waste one second!

Earlier this week I attended my first African funeral and burial (hence the title of my blog. I've now attended 2 weddings and a funeral in the short time I've been here). Wednesday afternoon we had arranged transportation to take our team (of 11) out to the village where Samuel was now staying (the 17 year old boy with HIV who we've been visiting for the past several months). However, he passed away around 5am Wed morning, before we could make it out to see him....so instead of visiting him that afternoon....we traveled out to the village for his funeral and burial. I wasn't quite emotionally/physically prepared for all of that! It was about a 1&1/2 hour ride out there and most of it was "off road", meaning dirt roads and traveling through very remote places. It was really, really bumpy and a rough ride, but quite refreshing at the same time! It was nice to get out of "the city". Just seeing all the trees and mountains and little streams...the untouched nature that God created! Also, driving past the small random, remote villages was incredible! It made me desire and crave to go on a mission trip! What an odd, strange thought...I desire to go a mission trip, while I'm here in Africa ON a mission trip?!?! What I meant was that I have such a heart to go "into the bush", into remote villages, and reach the untouched people, those who haven't yet heard about Jesus!!
Well, we finally arrived at the village and the service was just about finished (they were actually waiting for our arrival before the buried him). About 150 people were sitting all around, some on plastic chairs but most on the ground, and in the middle of them, under a small tarp, lay the open wooden casket of precious Samuel. They spoke and sang for a bit longer and then closed the casket and carried it into the woods, with all of us following behind, to the burial site. They spoke and sang a bit more, lowered the casket in, several people threw some sand on top and then they started digging the sand on top to bury the casket. You could hear many people wailing from the funeral site, while we were singing down at the burial site. This whole day was a bit surreal and difficult to process through and I do believe I'm still processing through it. Obviously it's sad for such a young man to die at an early age, but I feel so unresolved not knowing whether he was actually born-again or not. Really reminds me that this isn't a game, these are people's eternal lives and also makes me treasure the time and life God has given me....I can't take it for granted :)

This whole week has been quite different from our "normal routine". We have been in a trauma training program. A counselor from the US has been working in Gulu (northern Uganda) for about 2 years with a team of "trauma counselors" that he has trained. You should hear some of the amazing stories of healing, forgiveness, and freedom from the work that the Lord is doing through them!! Also, about 80-90% of people that have gone through this program get saved (born-again) by the end of the program...this includes drunkards, witchdoctors, former LRA members (Lord's Resistance Army), etc. It's incredible what the Lord is doing! (It's a 2 week program, and the "trauma counselors" do this program usually in IDP (internally displaced person) camps, and actually humble themselves and live in the camps during these 2 weeks). So, they are wanting the program to be launched in Kampala and our class is going to help launch it...starting with the children in Suubi village. So, this whole week we've spent training and the next 1& 1/2 weeks, we will spend doing the program with the children. However, we will also be living in the village. Soooo, I will be "mission trip" living for a bit! No hot showers at all, no electricity at all (obviously no internet access), and actually living with the people (the international team is being split up). I'm very excited about this, however, got a bit overwhelmed yesterday. Most of our class is split into teams of 3, with a trauma counselor (from Gulu) as the leader of the team, and each team will get 15-20 children to go through the program. Well, I got in a team with no trauma counselor from Gulu....and I'M actually leading the team!! How did that happen?? Overwhelmed...but trusting God. God will have to be my strength and source of wisdom. The Holy Spirit must work through me (us), because it's not about us....I want the kid's lives to be changed forever and I want them set free from bondage and feel the love of Jesus through us!!

So, I won't be blogging for the next 2 weeks (because we won't have electricity and internet access). We are actually in the village for 1& 1/2 weeks and then traveling to Gulu for a couple days!!

Please pray for me and the 360 class, as you feel led (I know some of you have been, and I REALLY appreciate it!!!!) I'm feeling physically exhausted and drained...like I've got nothing left in me to give. I'm in incredible pain from the kidney stones (I believe they are about to pass....inconvenient timing, right before going to the village and I'm in charge of a team). Traveling to Suubi and especially to Gulu...roads are not in good condition and there's constantly accidents happening. But, despite what outward circumstances may look like, I have a quiet inner strength and peace from Him. I'm relying on His Strength, which IS sufficient, unlike mine :) I confess my complete dependence on Him. I trust Him and want to serve Him and bring glory to His name...while having fun and building relationships :) Just knowing that He loves me, gives me hope to carry on!!

Thanks again for your prayers, support, and love!
I'll be back bloggin' in 2 weeks....


Knowing He is with me on ALL the roads I travel on,

Michelle

Just trying to "be His kid"

So, I'm reminded once again about the distinction between "being" and "doing". The whole Mary vs Martha biblical principle. It is so difficult in our society and generation, that's based on works. Our worth and value seems to always be connected with "doing"....how are you "doing"...what are you "doing"...what do you "do" for a living. We get so caught up in what we are doing instead of who we are and more importantly who God is, and who we are in Him. I don't "do" things to receive more acceptance or love from Him, I know I have that regardless of my works and nothing will increase His love for me (Romans 3:27-28). However, I still struggle sometimes to slow down and "just be"..."just be His Kid"...and to "dance like a girl" (do you like that, Terri?) :) I so desperately want to be made more into His image (nothing wrong with that) and want to serve Him with everything I've got (nothing wrong with that either)...but sometimes I forget to just "be". I start to "help" God change myself, which in fact isn't helping at all, it's just being counterproductive and slowing down my growth and transformation into His image!! I definitely am hearing Him loud and clear. Another paradigm shift is on the brink!!! These things hurt my head :) They are so against my natural self and counter-intuitive, but I'm so certain it's of the Lord! I'm like a fish swimming in the opposite direction of the "school of society fishes". Now, more than ever, I know who I am in the Lord and I can just "be" and let the Holy Spirit move and work (not become lazy or complacent...that will never work for me...but move and flow in a whole new way and perspective)!

Recap of this past week and a look into the next couple weeks :) Btw, this past week got changed around a bit (not suprising, TIA) so it wasn't as rough as I anticipated!

We went to visit our Living Hope clients (the patients with HIV, whom we visit in their homes). Lots happening with each of them! Our Muslim client, who we connected to a church and cell group and supplied a bible to...suprisingly had accepted Jesus the previous week at her church!!!! How cool is that?! She's still plugged into the church, cell group, and has a good friend who comes over and reads the Bible with her, to help her understand better. When we went to visit her, we had nothing formal planned (normally we do) and "ironically" we had a small, informal bible study. Everyone kept suddenly getting different scriptures and encouragements to share with her....it was really cool and led by the Holy Spirit! The second client is our 3 1/2 year old little girl, who on most visits, is quiet and doesn't talk or move around, just sits in our laps. However, this time, she saw us coming and came running full-speed up the road towards us and jumped into one of my group member's arms! It was precious! There were several other children there so we crowded into the small room together and played guitar, sang, and danced...it was lots of fun!! Our third client is the 17 year old boy, Samuel, who I've shared that I'm so heart connected to. We got word several days before the visit that he had been taken back to the village. I didn't understand why because I knew Samuel was adamant about NOT wanting to go back there. However, after asking and prodding my group members more, apparently people are taken back to their village when they are expected to die soon. Samuel had stopped taking medication, was no longer keeping food down and they supposedly couldn't get an IV site in him, and now was said to be paralyzed. Our group had planned it all out and had talked with Samuel's uncle to get someone to escort us to the village to visit Samuel (the village is pretty far and we would have to drive and take some kind of boat to get out there). We were determined to see him though! However, when we arrived the morning of ministry day, the leadership told us we could not go that day because they were afraid there wouldn't be enough time...so right now we are desperately working out transport to go out and visit him this next week, REALLY want to see him. I've spent several nights praying for him and his salvation!

I attended my second Ugandan wedding on Friday...how cool is that?!?! Actually, our whole class attended :) One of the pastor's comes in twice a week to teach us discipleship classes....he rocks!! So, as a class, we feel very bonded to him and it was really special that we got to attend his wedding!! He looked so excited and happy (in class he's very serious and intimidating and carries such an authority), and the bride looked absolutely stunning!!! The wedding was simple, but amazing! The whole presentation was just incredible! Before anyone walked down the aisle, the worship pastor opened with "You Raise Me Up"- wow he has an incredible voice and the music was anointed...then everyone came down the aisle and it was all nice black tuxedos but then noticed it was pastor after pastor after pastor...all his groomsmen were pastors (who have come in to do many devotions and teachings with us), so we knew them all and their little personalities...which was fun to see them all!! The message was also great...the prayers were powerful...the dancing and singing was the best (especially seeing the pastors all dressed up and dancing)...the special live duet of "Bless the Broken Road"....it was just a simple, but powerfully perfect and memorable wedding!!

All this week we have "trauma counseling" training. Will let you know more about that next Monday :)

Please continue to pray for me! 7 weeks left here and you would think it gets easier...in a way it does, but in a way it doesn't! I'm still dealing with kidney stones...some days the pain is better than other days :) Also, my passion for kids/youth ministry is growing leaps and bounds! I literally do feel like I'm going to burst sometimes! I've been asked to set up a couple appointments with some "big people" in Watoto to discuss some things-this is a huge step for me, even to get the courage and boldness to talk to "the big guns"- continuing to pray and see where that leads :)

I miss you all!! Experiences and people are absolutely incredible here (I can't believe I'm so blessed to be here), but of course, nothing can replace my friends/family back home and some of the comfortable lifestyle accommodations I was used to! (Most days we have hot water for showers, but those unexpected ice cold showers a couple times a week...sure make you appreciate hot water). Power randomly going out at any moment. No control over what you eat, and most days it's a lot of rice for lunch and a lot of rice for dinner! Not able to talk to or see any of my friends or family for 5 months. No car to just jump into and head to the store. Also, I can't believe this is coming outta my mouth, but I can't wait to eat a huge salad (because they don't have salads here) AND a huge cheeseburger when I get back!! (That's a huge shocker for those that know me really well, because I don't eat meat...the last time I had a burger was sometime in high school...well over 12 years ago...guess Uganda is changing me more than just spiritually!) :)

PS I will no longer be a salt-addict when I get back. I'm on a forced fasting of salt-is that biblical?? :) One girl on my team has limited my salt intake with dinner and now everyone has caught on board...they literally grab and hide the salt shakers from me or pour one dash into my hand or make me use pepper instead!! It's a good thing I love all of them, hehe!

I really am going to be unrecognizable when I get back...a no-salt, cheeseburger eatin', guitar playin', completely sold out for Jesus kinda girl :)

In Christ,
Michelle

Love the KIDS!!!!!

Wow, it's getting intense over here in Uganda!! Now only 8 weeks left here, and the pressure is on! I feel there is so much work left to be done in me and so little time to go...I'm putting the pressure on the Lord...like He can really be pressured, haha :) I truly want to come back unrecognizable in 8 weeks!! I've been preparing for a "character study" that I have to teach our class in a couple weeks. I'm talking about sincerity, which was the "character" that was assigned to our group. Who knew the Lord would search the depths of my heart before I could teach on this topic! I sure didn't like everything that I discovered so it's a good thing He's not through with me yet! Have you ever thought about what motivates your actions? Is it to build yourself up to look good? Is it to prove/show others you're a good, Christian person? Is it out of obligation and a religious attitude? Or do you have sincere, pure motives to do things out of an overflow of Jesus' love? Start praying for God to show you your own motives...and I guarantee that your very next prayer will be for His help in making your motives right, pure, and holy! I'm seriously being molded into His likeness!

Will try to keep it short and only tell you about 2 ministries that we did this week!

We went back to Wells of Hope Academy, the recently started boarding school for children who's parents are in prison. I can't begin to describe the atmosphere at this school...powerful, anointed, and blessed...I just love it there and would stay there, if I had the opportunity! After a prayer, reintroduction (in which they remembered all 10 of our names since we last saw them 4 weeks ago), we did a lesson. Last time I did the teaching, but this time another team member taught about the Creation Story. However, I was involved in the Adam and Eve skit we did after the lesson...I actually wrote the skit :) Somehow I also got volunteered to play Eve?! :) We had the best time, especially with impromptu lines, hehe!! The kids were laughing (which is good because they are in extremely difficult circumstances) and I do believe they will always remember the Creation Story and Adam and Eve (or at least have a good giggle remembering when we taught them and loved on them)! I wish you could hear the children pray...it's incredible what is in their precious, little hearts. When they thought this was our last time there, a couple of them went to the classroom door to say good-bye and had tears in their eyes :( I really, really, really enjoy working with these children and look forward to ministering there one more time. I believe this is one of my favorite places of ministry since I've been in this program in Uganda.

We also did street ministry on Friday afternoon. Each group was assigned a particular location, and our objective was to share who we were, and to discover the needs of a family and some issues within the community. Our group took a matatu (van-like taxi) to some slums about 15 minutes from the church. The area was in rough shape. We immediately were walking through mud, trash, and cattle. But, as I was looking back and talking to another team member, I suddenly looked up and 5 or 6 little kids were at my feet jumping up and down greeting me excitedly :) (Since we were in a village, they don't see many muzungus (white people), and there was myself and one other muzungu guy in this group). However, the kids kept surrounding only me and I certainly was NOT complaining!!!) Since the kids took a liking to us, we actually asked them to take us to their homes, so we could talk with their parents. After spending some time in the home and saying good-bye to the kids...we made it back to the church to discuss our plan of action or possible solutions to help (or help change) this community. Since I'm trying to keep this blog shorter, I will let you know in a later blog what ideas we came up with, how we plan to implement them, and exactly when we are going back to this area (which we don't know yet)!!

I wish I could describe in words just how amazing God is, but it's simply impossible to do! All I know is that He's faithful and loves us far more than I will ever be able to comprehend. I know I can't live without Him and my life would just be useless and meaningless.

Just spent this Sunday in "Children's Church" at the district church I serve at each Sunday. (This is the first Sunday I've been able to serve back in Children's Church, because there has been such a need for greeters/ushers). Let's just say my passion for working with kids is getting stronger and stronger...I feel like I'm going to BURST!!!

I'm really missing everyone!! I really can't say thank you enough for all the prayers, emails, facebook messages, and texts....they always come at the perfect moments and I appreciate you all, how sensitive you are to the Lord, what faithful friends you are to me, and your love for me!!!
This next week is going to be very intense for me personally (will write more about it in the next blog)!!

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle

An ENTIRE week off :)

Ahhh, that's right, an entire week off :) I know that some people at the hospital where I worked at were under the impression that I'm taking a 5 month vacation! However, contrary to popular belief, I've been working like crazy here, just a different kind of work, and one that I don't get paid anything monetary for!! So, I definitely appreciated having this past week off!

Several people went white water rafting, went on a 3-day safari, or did a day trip to Jinja...I actually opted not to do any of them. I've seen or done all of these experiences before, so chose to save my money and instead "hung out" a bit! I've absolutely had the best time!!! I'll share just a little bit...

On Wednesday I was "home alone" for the first time since we've been in Uganda. I actually spent the entire afternoon praying and worshiping. I know, that sounds a bit weird. However, I live for an audience of One and will endure persecution and ridicule, and that's ok! I had an incredible day and I can't begin to tell you how freeing the whole afternoon was! Later that night, I attended my regular cell group (small group), even though we weren't "required" to go. I just love my cell group here. The leader is a young Ugandan physician, who I just seemed to connect with since our first meeting! Also, the couple that hosts the group (in their home) are extremely strong in faith, and just amazing Christians as well! It's going to be really difficult leaving the group in a couple months :(

Thursday was a memorable day! Myself and 2 of my other roomies took over our guesthouse kitchen :) (Yes, the guesthouse kitchen and entire guesthouse are still standing...we didn't burn the place down, hehe!!) One of my roommates family's was in town, so we wanted to make a "traditional" Ugandan meal for them. This is actually an extremely hard thing to do. In fact, many Ugandans don't even make some of this stuff because it's so consuming (time-wise and strength-wise). (However, one of our classmates taught us how to do it). Soooo, one of the cooks took us into the market (even catching a matatu, which is like a large taxi van was quite an experience). Then, shopping in the market with him (a local market that never sees muzungus) was SUCH a interesting time! Our cook kept telling the market sellers that we were the ones cooking the meal...and they were so impressed that we knew what ingredients to shop for and how to cook it. The ride back on the matatu was hilarious too! It's too hard to describe, but let's just say there were barely 2 seats available in the matutu we flagged down....and yep, we all 3 hopped in....I turned around and my roomie's face was smashed almost into the back of my head! I'm still laughing thinking about the look on her face and the comment she made, "...and how is this any safer than riding a boda". (Those are the motorcycle-like bikes that we are banned from riding because so many people get extremely injured on them). Well, we then spent ALL day cooking....such a fun experience for us and the 2 cooks. (I do believe they got great pleasure watching us try to cook, of course with LOTS of help from them, hehe). The meal turned out quite delicious...it was like a Ugandan Thanksgiving meal :)

Friday we ventured to a local "Friday craft market". It's the only day I really get to shop, can you believe it?! ;) Then Friday night, a couple of us went to see a play at the church. I just love learning more about the culture and God's People. The best way to do this is to be led by the Holy Spirit and to jump right in and engage yourself (no matter how uncomfortable it feels).

Besides that....hung out, played cards, talked, went to the pool a couple times, talked some more, read a lot, caught up on sleep, took walks, listened to music, prayed a lot, practiced some more guitar, tried to catch up on emails....just a nice, relaxed week :) You have to keep it pretty simple here...I am in Uganda after all!!

PS I was having dinner one evening this week in our guesthouse and glanced up to just say hello to a couple that I had never seen at the guesthouse before (just to be friendly). Suddenly, she stopped and said, "hey I know you..." I then looked up and recognized that I did indeed know her!! Back in 2007, my first trip to Uganda, I went with an organization called BWO to Jinja and Masaka. She was helping to run a baby orphanage in Jinja, and helped us with the medical team (which I was a part of). She "just happened" to be in Kampala to go on safari and it "just happens" that they got grouped with our team to all go on safari together!! She's only ever been on safari once before and she lives in a town about 2 hours away...the chances of us just crossing paths are so slim....God is amazing!!! She's a missionary from the States, and has now been in Uganda 5 years. I was talking to her a bit about full-time missions :)

Thanks again for all the prayers and continued encouragement! I love getting emails and texts from everyone!! I tend to highlight and write about the amazing things here, but this trip hasn't always been easy...I've definitely hit major low points. Just last night I struggled with little sleep because it was miserably hot and I was in incredible pain (several of you know that for the past several week, I've been battling with kidney stones...yeah, I learned my lesson DRINK LOTS OF WATER while on mission trips :) ) only to wake up still in pain, groggy because of no sleep, and immediately discovered that I lost my camera (through a dream I had the night before) but it contained ALL my pictures since the beginning of my trip :( What a way to start the day! However, God is faithful and still in control. I can't fix my eyes on the circumstances or myself...because that's exactly what the enemy wants. Instead, I told God how I was feeling, told Him how amazing He is, and who He is in my life, and then began telling Him all the things I'm grateful for in my life....and am continuing to keep my eyes fixed on Him instead of my circumstances. (The Bible tells us to be thankful IN all circumstances, not FOR all circumstances....certainly not grateful that I lost the camera, but I sure can keep an attitude of gratitude!) You can either fix your eyes on all the joy stealers and watch life pass you by, or you can fix your eyes on The One who brings joy and created life and you can chose to live life to its fullest, as the salt and light of the world (there is always someone around you who needs a smile, needs to hear encouragement, needs to hear about the hope of Jesus Christ, or is living in poverty and needs the basics of life to survive)!! Sooo, I do thank you for the continued prayers, because I/we need them :)

Until next Monday.....

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle

Easter in Uganda!!

HE IS RISEN!! The resurrection of Christ is the foundation for the hope of all Christians...our hope is found in Jesus Christ and eternal life spent with the Lord in Heaven. I just love Easter and its meaning! Obviously I spent this Easter in Uganda :) A bit different from Florida...actually VERY different ;) Since I'm currently working 24/7 in ministry and working with a very large church here in Uganda, I've been involved in Easter celebrations since Thursday.

Thursday night they had a huge "praise rally" at the main church campus. It's basically a night of just praise and worship music. They were expecting tons of people so not only was the church set up, but also the entire parking lot was filled with plastic chairs, 2 huge screens to be able to see the worship team inside, and huge speakers. We were required to usher at this event, and several of us chose to usher outside. It was AWESOME! I've never experienced powerful worship underneath the stars in Africa before...it was incredible!!!! Getting absorbed in the words and meaning of the songs and then looking up and seeing the vastness of the open sky and stars...yeah, there just aren't words to describe it!! There were several times that I actually got so absorbed in worship, I forgot I was was in Uganda!

Friday night (Good Friday) the International Team had their own little "service" at the guesthouse :) We decided not to go to the main church for service, but have an intimate time together instead! We sat in a circle and worshiped with the guitar (no I didn't play...yet, hehe), read the Crucifixion account from the Word, and prayed. Simple, but intimate, Spirit-filled, and powerful!

Saturday night they had a special worship and prayer service at the district church that I serve at. So, I ventured out there to be a part of that celebration. It was wonderful!! They played a clip from the Passion movie, starting with Jesus getting beaten. So overwhelming, but I think everyone should watch the Passion at least once a year.

Sunday was like many other Sundays....we all went to our district churches to serve. It didn't feel like Easter when we got up, probably because there was no candy, no easter baskets, no people dressed in colorful easter sunday clothes, and no kids with sugar-highs running around everywhere. It was just a "typical" Sunday. However, there was something exciting in the atmosphere!! The worship at my church was wonderful!! I've really gotten to know about 8 of the Ugandan ushers...and I have the best time serving with them!! During worship, a couple of the guys came up and razzed me about putting more rhythm in my moves or dancing, while I'm greeting and ushering. I tried to explain that I'm white and not African...then they try to tell me that Shakira isn't African either, haha! They are slowly drawing me out :) When we sing songs in Luganda or Swahili, they come over and explain what the songs mean, they look after me! Soooo, by the 3rd service yesterday, I was dancing with more rhythm, learned a Uganda dance to one of the songs, and was singing in Luganda/Swahili to one of the songs (and knew the meaning)....all while ushering and interceding in prayer!! Yeah, it was an awesome day :) Soooo much fun!! During some of the services, in between my ushering responsibilities, I usually spend time talking one-on-one with one of the ushers or other people serving in the church. This is a step out of my comfort zone, but I'm learning A LOT from the Ugandans. They are not only teaching me about themselves and their culture, but also about caring, kindness, gentleness, and patience for others. They sincerely care about me, as a person, and want to engage in conversation, even though I'm only here for 5 months. They are teaching me what it means to be a servant of the Lord and what it means to develop relationships and be used by Him. Though the Ugandans lack planning in advance and for the future....I'm DEFINITELY learning how to "live in the moment" by watching them. They have Matthew 6:33-34, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself", down and they know how to live it out, and because of the Ugandans, I'm learning how to live this verse out too :) It's amazing how much I'm growing and learning here! Well, ended the evening having a blast back at the guesthouse with the international team...talking, laughing, playing cards, laughing, talking more, laughing, and laughing some more! Definite week of remembrance though! Remembering what Jesus Christ did for us and who we are here to serve. Remembering that we have resurrection power flowing on the inside of us. Remembering that Jesus wins...flip to the back of the book...we win because of Him. Remembering how much I'm so utterly in love with the Lord, but moreso remembering how much He loves me (and each and every one of us), that He sent His one and only Son to pay the ultimate price for our sins, so we can have eternal life...there is no greater love! Remembering that He doesn't want us to wait until we get to Heaven to start living, we can and should start living a life of freedom and love now!!!

PS I want you all to meet Hunington (see the pict on the right). This is a 10 year old little boy who resides at an orphanage called Suubi, that we go play sports at every Saturday. He's an excellent football (soccer) player, has been on choir tour to the States/Canada, likes math, loves Jesus, and likes to teach me new hand shakes every Saturday :) Since the very first day at Suubi, we've developed a special bond, even though I usually only see him at the beginning and end of the day (unless he migrates down to volleyball, where I'm coaching, to hang out with me). He's such a cool kid and I can just tell he has a precious, sweet heart!

The molding and unfolding process!!

To go through the refining/purifying process and be molded by The Potter, which is wonderful, but a somewhat painful place to be, YET to also be a delicate flower that is just unfolding and blooming...SIMULTANEOUSLY!! Seriously, is this possible to do both at the same time?! Well, with God all things are possible :) I'm in the midst of it right now! I have no idea how I'm changing exactly, I can just tell you that I'm changing....BIG TIME!! Change is a good thing. Change is an uncomfortable thing. However, I never want to be static and stop moving because I know you can't walk into your divine destiny by remaining where you are. I never want to be completely comfortable where I'm at because it means I'm satisfied with the consecration and transformation process....I always want to continue to know Him more and continue to grow and be transformed into His likeness. Soooo, right now I'm uncomfortably comfortable ;) Comfortable because I know I'm in His Hands and He is in control of my life, but uncomfortable because I'm being molded and unfolded at the same time :) I (we) must be willing to face my fears and step out of the darkness of insecurities!! I (we) either chose the pain of change or the pain of regret!!

First, I wanted to follow-up on the garbage clean-up from last week (posted a couple new pics to the right). One of my Ugandan classmates informed me this week about the impact we had on that community, and I wanted to share it with you all (because you just never know the impact you can have on people by sharing the love of Jesus). Of course the muzungus (white people) didn't know any of this during the clean-up, because we don't understand the native languages! My classmate told me that many people were standing around shouting insults at us (apparently they were "violent, criminal, gang-filled slums" that we were in). They thought we were there trying to make money by cleaning up the slums (because some people were taking pictures and the church video camera was there filming), and they were telling the muzungus that they should be in their air-condioned offices working. They also didn't think we could finish cleaning the whole heap of trash, so a huge crowd of people gathered around, just to watch us fail (I did see tons of people just standing there watching us, but had no idea why). However, that day, we just continued to work hour after hour after hour...continued smiling and smiling...continued singing songs of praise. Slowly their insults turned to questions. Why are you doing this? Who are you here with? What do you want from us? Then, finally they realized we weren't getting paid anything, realized we were staying until completion, and realized we were only there to show them love and meet a simple need....then their questions turned into "thank-you's". Pretty incredible...insults turned to questions turned to appreciation! Though there are sooo many needs in Uganda, we refused to sit around and do nothing, and I believe impacted a "rough community" with the love of Jesus and glorifed Him.

Next, I wanted to update on one of the Living Hope families. The young 17 year old who is HIV positive that deeply affected me the very first time we met him, is in terrible condition. In fact, this is the worst condition that we've ever seen him! He was unable to come out and visit us due to weakness, so we talked with the uncle (the caregiver) for a bit. Then, several of us went into his bedroom to visit and pray. He was laying on a blanket, on the floor and curled in the fetal position (because he was in so much pain). He had no shirt on, just boxers, which now appeared at least 3 times too big for him. He was soooo cachectic, frail, skin and bones...indescribable! He could barely whisper, he was in so much pain and so weak. We basically sat there in shock at his terrible condition and frail body, and thankfully one of my other team members offered to pray. I knew if I tried to utter a word out, I was going to start sobbing uncontrollable tears. It was an extremely difficult visit, but we must trust that he's in the Lord's Hands!

PS Well, to end on a humerous note....the best bug dance award this week officially goes to one of my roomates, Nina!! One night we were both out on our balcony (on the 2nd floor), gathering our sneakers for the next day. She saw that several creatures had crawled into her sneakers so she was banging the shoes against the railing to get them out. Well, about that time, apparently a rather large bug landed on her foot (and she was wearing flip flops). She began a little high-pitched, very girlie scream with a syncronized flailing of her arms and legs. Well, one of her legs flung a little too hard and sure enough...a flip flop went flying into the air....it did several spins in the air before it landed!! Of course it couldn't land on our balcony or on the roof below us or on the ground below that....somehow if lands perfectly on the large satellite dish hanging a bit below our balcony!!!! We were crying because we were laughing soooo hard!! The actual probablitlity of it getting stuck on there...slim to none!! After unsuccessfully trying to "fish" the flip-flop off with a hanger and string, we begged one of the security guards we know to help us...who had to act like a monkey and climb a wall to climb another wall to climb the roof and then walk across the roof in order to reach the satellite dish! Yeah, good times and most of that was caught of my video camera! TIA kinda fun ;)

Thanks for reading! Miss and love you all :)

HAPPY EASTER....HE IS RISEN!!!!!

Living to know Him more and more,

Michelle

What TIA is all about!!!

Of all the mission trips I've been on and volunteer work I've done in the past, I can't say I've ever done anything quite like this before!! On Saturday, we partnered with some people from the city council and went down to the slums for a "city clean-up". Now, I've done beach clean-ups and street clean-ups before ...but NOTHING like this!

At first, we picked up trash around some of the little local shops. (A little different when there's no concrete, it's all dirt and mud that you are trying to pick trash up from). However, when we went to dump the trash bags into the compost(which basically sits in the middle of the slums)...it was disgusting!! The whole compost was overflowing...there was trash piled EVERYWHERE! We called and got the dump box hauled away and we then filled another box...using wheelbarrows and reusing large, thick bags. Then, one last dump truck came and we filled that one with the remaining trash until the place was clean! Spending nearly 3 hours literally standing on heaps of trash was a new experience for me! The smell was horrendous! Upon lifting the "make-shift reusable bags" onto the truck, there was trash that fell out and dumped all over you. At one point it was raining, making the smell and mud even worse. Then, it was humid and sunny, which drained our energy. The conditions were rough! I had to literally keep singing worship songs in my head and keep my nose buried in my sleeve at times, because the smell made me want to vomit. Days later, the stench is still in my fingers....I'm STILL trying to scrub it out! I haven't quite formulated all my thoughts about this whole experience, BUT it was a very humbling experience, and yes, I would do it again, despite the rough conditions!

This week I also got to teach a lesson to the academy class (kids who's parent(s) are in jail and have no other place to go)....which I LOVED doing!!!!! Plus my group's assignment at the Remand Home (the juvenile detention center) was a "special song" and we did a song in Luganda. My group took the time last week to teach me the song (not easy to learn the words, nevertheless sing them!) and I'm the only white person on this team! Sooooo, of course, all eyes were on me during the song (to see if I was really singing it, hehe)!! I looked at one of our 360 leaders during the performance (he's a Ugandan) and he was looking right at me smiling ear to ear....got the biggest kick out of me singing in Luganda :) I really enjoyed it and now can't get the song out of my head!


Ok, like I promised, I'll now explain TIA :) It's very simple, but used quite frequently..... This Is Africa!! Those who have been on mission trips to Africa know this acronym well and know how to use it :) Here's a couple of our examples so far:

1. We have a toaster at the guesthouse with 4 slots for bread (potentially cooking 4 slices of bread at a time), BUT only one side of one slot works. Soooo, you can literally only cook 1/2 slice of bread at a time, then have to flip it over and wait for the other 1/2 side to cook...TIA

2. We show up to small group on time and noone else is there yet. The host then tells us that she has to go pick up her husband and she leaves 3 muzungus (while people) just sitting in her house alone until someone else arrives....TIA

3. Anytime I try crossing the street in Africa, I always feel like I'm playing a human game of Frogger (remember the video game Frogger??). There are taxi vans traveling at high speeds going straight and diagonally, bikes shooting past every which way, boda boda's (the motorcycle-like things) going all different directions (including the wrong direction), people walking all different directions, traffic constantly stopping and starting....yeah, feels like a game of Frogger!! Take one step out....look out for the taxi....run to the middle...watch the boda from behind....look out for the boda beside you.....watch the 3 children that have now congregated around your feet and are following you....yep, feels like Frogger! In fact, I won't cross the street unless there's a Ugandan beside me, I just wait for them to cross and follow them...I cheat at the "human Frogger" game ;) TIA

4. You are peacefully sitting around having a conversation in the evening and suddenly see one of the girl's in your group jumping up shouting "Ahhhh, it's one of those flying grasshopper's with rabies...". You don't ask, just hysterically start laughing, make sure it's not on you, and reply "TIA"!

5. You walk through the village and literally get a mob of kids following behind you chanting "muzungu" (which again means white person) and you begin to get a taste of how Jesus must have felt walking through some streets, being seen for the first time, TIA!

6. When you actually start having your favorite potholes, TIA!

7. When normal conversations between you and your roomies, while walking through the streets is..."I feel like I'm swimming in my shoes"...."Yeah, I've got mud squishing between my toes all in my sandals"...."Oh no, look at Nina's capris, she's got mud all up the back of them". TIA!

8. There is a different time system here! If a function is supposed to start at 11, don't expect it to start before 11:30 or 12. In fact, the wedding that Sue and I got to attend...there were supposed to be 400 people attending and 10 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start, there were literally 10 people in the sanctuary (including us). We looked at each other and laughed and at the same time said "TIA"!

Now you know one of the most commonly used phrases among western teams that travel to Africa! You know how wonderful people are over here! There's obviously overwhelming needs over here! Soooo, what's stopping you from coming over here???? Come on, take that step forward, and come experience Africa...it will change your outlook and perspective on life FOREVER :)

Until next Monday!

Living to know Him more and more,
Michelle

Walking the walk, not just talking the talk!!

My quads are incredibly sore...my shoulders are bright red...the tops of 3 of my fingers have blisters...what has Michelle been up to lately???? :)

Well, my quads are sore because I decided to begin and end my running career in Uganda :) Between the elevation, the dust, the heat, and the huge hills (which feel like mountains to run up)...yeah, I think I'll stick to walking, if I'm going to exercise at all here! My shoulders are red because on my day off last week, I went to a local pool and laid out for about 2 hours and got pretty burned...oops! But how cool that I actually laid out in Africa! I'm really making this place my home :) Then, my 3 fingers on my left hand literally are forming blisters because I'm learning how to play the guitar :) I'm sooooo excited!! I've got 3 chords down already, and now just need to learn how to switch between them a little faster! One of the guys on the international team is teaching me...not only is he a gifted musician...he's very patient and an excellent teacher! Andrew doesn't know this yet, but when I get back, I'm going to ask him to hook me up with someone who can give me lessons on my keyboard...that's your forwarning, Andrew...hope you follow these blogs ;) I'm very excited about all this!! :)

Had a rough week with outreach ministry...my group was supposed to do prison ministry but had difficulty with paperwork and signatures, and we couldn't go. Also, our usual hospital ministry got canceled this week, as well. However, despite this, we still had an AMAZING week!! The international team is bonding closer and closer...we've had some VERY powerful talks and "God times" (not sure how else to word it). I've also personally been growing in the Lord...it feels like I'm taking one step forward and ten steps back at times...but I'm not functioning based on "feelings"...I'm listening to HIS voice and guidance!!

"I want to take Your Word and shine it all around...first help me just to live it, Lord...". This is the bridge to a wonderful song, and became my prayer for several days. Be careful what you pray! I so desperately want to love and serve Him and tell others about Him, but I'm not even living some of the scripture that I share and teach others about. Do I read the Bible? Yes. Do I believe what's written in the Bible? Yes. Was I truly living all the scripture that I was reading? No!! I wasn't purposefully being disobedient. It's like Paul talks about in Romans, I want to do what is right and good, but I don't. However, it was as if I wasn't comprehending and grasping the full meaning of what I was reading...wasn't truly absorbing it enough to be obedient to it!! I can't do this on my own, obviously, and this is why I warn...be careful what you pray for!! :) Now, unbelievably, the scripture that I memorize and meditate on, is coming alive and I'm constantly being shown and corrected when I'm not living it out in my daily life AND how I can live it out!! There are many times I actually stop singing a song in the middle of worship...either to really listen to the words I'm singing or because I'm left so breathless when I actually understand the meaning of what I'm singing! It's hard to express in words the awesomeness of this paradigm shift, if you will...but maybe some examples would help!! :)

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences". Proverbs 18:21 Have you ever really,truly understood the power of your own words? I mean truly had an understanding? Had a nice, long time of repentance when I realized the depth of this verse and how much I have brought death with my own words!! Then, the next day, He showed me firsthand the meaning of this scripture and the deep affect/effect it can have on His precious people (boy did I learn and get it and will not make that mistake again!!!!). Not only am I now aware (watching) my own tongue...I'm now aware of my thoughts AND of the conversations I'm involved with. I find myself not adding anything to certain conversations that I know would be displeasing to the Lord, potentially harm His People, and be unfruitful. This also coincides with another scripture I'm intimately being transformed on, Philippians 2:14-15, "Do everything without complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you". (Coincidentally, I'm typing this blog on one of the hottest nights we've had...I literally have sweat dripping everywhere and it's 10pm!!) Well, after intimately learning and slowly being transformed and held accountable to live this verse out...the Lord stepped it up one more level and asked me to share my intimate experience with the international team and they were to be my accountability partners for me living out this verse! This was a stretch for me and very humbling!!

One other verse is 2 Cor 10:3-5, "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every though to make it obedient to Christ". Do we have any understanding the power of the weapons that Christians have access to? They have divine power to demolish strongholds!! Who ever said that a gun is powerful than forgiveness?? Who ever said that addictions are more powerful than prayer and functioning in the gifts of the Holy Spirit?? Who ever said that pride is more powerful than loving the unlovable and forgotten?? Our weapons may look and feel different, but they have divine power to demolish strongholds!! I also love the end of this scripture, that we are to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ...not easy, but worth the tough process to live out this scripture in your life :)

Also, I played the song, "My Glorious" by Newsong the other day on my iPOD. I've listened to that song many times before. However, I had a divine moment of understanding this time! Did I really ever understand what I was singing before? "...all You ever do is change the old for new....God is bigger than the air I breathe...God will save the day...". Unbelievable lyrics and now I sing with a whole new attitude in my heart and proclamation from my lips! I don't just sing anymore, I testify and proclaim and believe!

Not sure our agenda this week, except that we are going back to the Remand Home (like a juvenile detention center) and the Wells of Hope Academy (where I'm teaching the lesson for our group). Next blog (for those who haven't been to Africa), I want to share the meaning of TIA and some fun examples we've had so far...you won't want to miss it :)

Thanks for reading!!

Living my life to know Him more and more,
Michelle